Shifting Your Story: Building Confidence Through Conflict, Possibility, and Presence
Program: StoryShift Coaching Series
Client: Microsoft Aspire Program
Coach: Terence Priester
Duration:
Delivery Format: 1:1 online session

by Terence Priester

Shift the Story
This is not a session about surface-level confidence. This is about changing how you relate to your challenges, your strengths, and your voice.
"You don't have to be confident to show up today. You just have to be curious."
Curiosity opens doors that fear keeps closed. Start with questions, not certainty.
"Every shift in our leadership starts with a shift in narrative, even a small one."
Small narrative changes create ripple effects in how we show up and lead.
"This session is for the version of you who's ready to stop waiting to feel 'ready'."
What part of your story are you hoping becomes clearer today, even just a little?
Wrap Up
We begin here, not because we have answers, but because we're willing to ask better questions.
Naming the Edge
This is the moment we move from general reflection to specific visibility. Every leader has an edge: a place where they hesitate to be fully seen, or where they're stretching into new presence. This opening activation brings it to the surface.
Do Now
Complete this sentence: "One thing I want to get better at showing up for is…"
Examples
  • "My strategic thinking in high-pressure meetings"
  • "Owning my seat at the table instead of earning it over and over"
  • "Backing myself in hard conversations"
Wrap Up
What did you write, and what part of you is asking to be seen when you say it?
Final Thoughts
Thinking this way helps surface the next edge of your leadership. It reveals the moment just before courage, and gives language to the invisible stretch many leaders feel, but rarely name out loud.
The Brag Sheet
We're not starting with gaps; we're starting with what's real. You've already led. Already survived. Already added value. Let's name it.
Do Now
List the following:
  • 5 wins you're proud of
  • 3 strengths you're known for
  • 2 challenges you've overcome
Examples
Wins:
  • Led a team through change
  • Created a new system to solve a recurring issue
  • Coached a peer through a personal struggle
  • Facilitated a strategy session
  • Designed a new onboarding process
Strengths:
  • Pattern spotting
  • Empathic listening
  • Precision under pressure
  • Strategic simplification
  • Feedback delivery
Challenges Overcome:
  • Transitioning into a leadership role
  • Rebuilding after burnout
  • Navigating internal politics without losing values
Wrap Up
What surprised you as you wrote your list and what do you want to carry forward with more clarity?
Final Thoughts
This Brag Sheet is your receipts file. Confidence is not a wish it's a memory. These moments are not just accomplishments. They're patterns.
Strength Statement
This Confidence Snapshot serves as a starting point to help you assess where you are on your journey to building greater self-assurance and presence.
Do Now
Complete this sentence: "One thing I'm learning to claim, not just practise, is my strength in…"
Example
"One thing I'm learning to claim is my strength in creating calm clarity when others are overwhelmed."
Wrap Up
What's the sentence you wrote and what shift happens when you say it out loud?
Final Thoughts
This is more than confidence. This is the language of leadership. When you can name what you know, you help others trust your insight.
Claiming Authority
Confidence becomes authority when it's specific. This is where your strength turns into an asset others can recognise and rely on.
Do Now
Choose 1 strength from your Brag Sheet Answer:
What do I know about this that others might not?
How have I applied it in a high-impact situation?
What's my unique approach or lens?
Example Response 1
Strength: Coaching others through tension
  • Knowledge: Silence builds trust faster than answers
  • High-impact use: Supported a colleague through a critical performance review
  • Unique approach: I start with emotional permission, not advice
Example Response 2
Strength: Presenting ideas clearly under pressure
  • Knowledge: People remember one thing, not ten
  • High-impact use: Delivered an emergency debrief to senior leadership
  • Unique approach: I anchor every idea with a 'why now' hook
Wrap Up
What strength did you choose and what's something only you know about how it works?
Final Thoughts
This is more than confidence. This is the language of leadership. When you can name what you know, you help others trust your insight.
3-Line Authority Claim
This is where your strength becomes story. It's not enough to name what you're good at, you need to articulate it clearly, specifically, and in a way others can use.
Do Now
Write your mini positioning statement:
I'm someone who…
[strength in action]
I've demonstrated this by…
[specific example]
What makes me different is…
[angle or belief]
Example
"I'm someone who brings strategic focus to messy team conversations. I've done this while managing high-stakes cross-functional meetings. What makes me different is I focus on clarity, not control."
Wrap Up
Which line was easiest to write and which one made you pause?
The Bold Idea You Keep Quiet
Now that we've built your confidence file, let's name what's next and what you haven't claimed yet, even though it matters.
Do Now
Answer only 1 of the followig.
Your choice:
  • If confidence weren’t an issue, what’s the first thing you’d do?
Or
  • What’s a bold step that keeps calling to you, even though you haven’t acted on it yet?
And Now
How powerful is this step in shaping who you're becoming (1 being low - 10 being transformative?
What's at stake if you don't?
Examples
  • Speak up during a planning session
  • Apply for a more visible internal role
  • Propose a shift in project priorities
  • Ask for compensation clarity
  • Lead a client pitch instead of supporting
Wrap Up
What's one small truth this made you face, and what's one part you're not ready to give up on?
Final Thoughts
This becomes the anchor for the next part of the session. We're not just naming desires, we're defining what you've been stopping yourself from doing.
Gap-to-Goal Map
This is where confidence becomes tactical. It's not enough to name the desire, we need to understand what's blocking it, and what it might cost to delay.
Do Now
Fill out the three-column table below. You're naming:
1
What you want to do
2
What's stopping you (belief, fear, system, story)
3
What's at stake if you don't take action
Use real language. Think practically, not perfectly.
Wrap Up
What surprised you: the blocker you named, or the cost of inaction?
Final Thoughts
This is the gap between what you know you can do and what you haven't yet given yourself permission to step into. Once it's visible, it can be navigated.
ACED Step 1: Awareness
This is the moment we confront the belief underneath the hesitation. You don't need to silence the voice; you need to understand it.
Do Now
Answer these questions:
What negative thought shows up when you imagine taking that action?
Where did this thought originate?
Whose voice might it echo?
Examples
  • "I don't deserve a leadership role because I don't have enough experience."
  • "If I speak up, I might say the wrong thing and lose credibility."
  • "Asking for more will make me look entitled."
  • "People will see I'm faking it."
  • "This only works for confident extroverts; not for someone like me."
Wrap Up
What belief showed up? And whose voice is it really?
Final Thoughts
Naming the belief is the first act of authorship. It loses power the moment it becomes visible.
ACED Step 2: Curiosity
This is where we soften the judgment. Most limiting beliefs are doing a job like protecting you from risk. But they also block you from growth.
Do Now
Answer these questions:
What is this belief protecting you from?
What bigger story is it part of?
Is it keeping you safe, or stuck?
For Example
Belief: "I need to be perfect before I can be visible"
Protective function: Avoid criticism
Bigger story: "You only get one shot to make a good impression"

Belief: "I'm not ready to lead"
Protective function: Avoid embarrassment
Bigger story: "Leadership is for experts, not learners"
Wrap Up
What job is this belief trying to do? Is it worth the cost?
Final Thoughts
Our inner narratives are smart but they're not always right. Interrogating them helps us decide whether they still serve who we are becoming.
Narrative Flip
Our beliefs often carry hidden bargains: stay safe, stay small, stay silent. But when we surface the cost, we can make a different choice.
Do Now
Complete the table below by flipping the protective logic and naming what it’s costing you.
For Example
Wrap Up
Which cost do you no longer want to keep paying?
Final Thoughts
Naming the trade-off breaks the trance. You can keep the protective story, but now it's a choice, not a default.
ACED Step 3: Evidence
Beliefs weaken when they collide with reality. We're looking for lived evidence that proves this belief isn't the full truth.
Do Now
Answer the following:
  • Where does your experience push back on that belief, or what moments challenge the truth of that thought?
  • When have you already done something similar even if it was done imperfectly?
Examples
  • "I asked a clarifying question that helped the team get unstuck."
  • "I led a tricky project even though I didn't have the title."
  • "I had that difficult client conversation, and earned their trust."
  • "I shared a new idea with my director, and she asked for more."
Wrap Up
What part of you already knew how to do this?
Final Thoughts
Evidence reshapes belief. It reminds you that your confidence isn't hypothetical, it's already been in motion.
Reframe Grid
This is the moment your story shifts. When you place evidence beside an old belief, you create space for a new thought to emerge.
Do Now
Complete the table below by reframing your limiting belief into a new, grounded possibility backed by real evidence.
For Example
Wrap Up
Which new thought feels most true even if it's just starting to emerge?
Final Thoughts
You don't have to fake belief. Just try on the version that feels one step truer and let it change what comes next.
ACED Step 4: Decision
We don't wait until we feel confident to act. We act, and confidence builds from the result. Let's write a belief that serves your future, not your fear.
Do Now
Complete the two tasks below:
  1. What new belief are you ready to try on?
  1. What small action could reinforce it this week?
New Belief Example 1
"My voice adds value, even if it's not perfect."
Small Action: Speak up in one internal meeting
New Belief Example 2
"I can lead from who I am not who I think they want."
Small Action: Offer one honest reflection to a peer this week
Wrap Up
What part of you is asking to lead next?
Final Thoughts
Belief alone isn't enough. Action brings the shift to life. Start with one moment this week where you act from the new story.
Micro Commitment Story
This is your re-entry. You've challenged a belief, gathered evidence, and named a new one. Now anchor that shift in a lived intention.
1
2
3
1
Once I believed...
2
Now I act from...
3
This week I will prove it by...
Example
1
Once I believed I needed permission to speak
2
Now I act from clarity and service
3
This week I'll name a pattern I see in our planning meeting
Wrap Up
What part of this sentence felt boldest to say?
Final Thoughts
You've already begun. This isn't about waiting for a shift. It's about walking in it, one act at a time.
Bold Move Replay
Confidence doesn't start with certainty. It starts with choice. Let's remember a moment when you acted anyway.
What did you do?
Recall a moment you acted even when you weren't ready.
What part of you led in that moment?
Identify the quality that showed up when confidence didn't.
Examples
  • "I called out a missed ethical issue during a client call: my clarity spoke first."
  • "I offered to mentor someone even though I still had doubts about myself: my care led the way."
  • "I volunteered to lead a rollout session: even though I didn't have the title yet."
Wrap Up
What quality showed up in you even when confidence didn't?
Final Thoughts
You've already done hard things. The goal isn't to create a new you. It's to remember the one who already exists.
Reclaiming Authority
After everything you've just surfaced and shifted, it's time to re-claim authority, not as an identity but as a function: something you do, not something you wait to be handed.
Do Now
Return to one of your Strength Statements or Brag Sheet items from earlier.
Now, answer:
What do you bring?
When has it mattered most?
Why does it matter now?
Example
Strength: Holding clarity during conflict
New Truth: "I don't just de-escalate, I reveal what matters underneath. That's what earns trust."
Why Now: "Because conflict is where my team either contracts, or grows.
Wrap Up
What feels truer now about your strength than it did an hour ago?
Final Thoughts
You've rewritten the context for your strength. It's no longer something you have, it's something you offer.
The Value Pitch
Confidence isn't just internal. You need to be able to say your value clearly, specifically, and without apology. This is where your inner shift becomes externally visible.
Do Now
Craft your value in three parts:
What I bring
What problem I solve
What outcome I help create
Examples
  • "I translate complexity into strategy. I help teams prioritise clearly, which reduces misalignment and speeds up execution."
  • "I create trust during transitions. I help leaders land change without chaos."
  • "I see patterns others miss. I spot issues early and help prevent client attrition."
Wrap Up
What would someone gain by hearing this pitch clearly, from you, in the room you're about to walk into?
Final Thoughts
This pitch isn't just for interviews. It's for conversations, cross-team meetings, and moments when you want to step forward instead of shrinking.
Voice Recording Loop
When we say our value aloud, we hear the parts that land and the parts that shrink. Let's listen for where our authority already lives.
Where did I sound most certain?
Record yourself reading your Value Pitch aloud. Then, identify the moments of strongest conviction.
Where did I soften, qualify, or apologise?
Notice the places where your voice loses power or you add unnecessary qualifiers.
What word would I swap out to feel more powerful?
Identify language shifts that would strengthen your message.
Wrap Up
What part of your voice felt like it belonged in the room and what part still wants rehearsal?
Final Thoughts
Saying it aloud helps you rehearse confidence not perform it. This is your voice, calibrated for impact.
Value-Visibility Map
A shift in your story doesn't matter unless it's visible. Visibility isn't bragging, it's alignment.
Do Now
Identify three places where your value is hidden or muted. Complete the table below.
Wrap Up
Which of these will you actually say out loud this week?
Final Thoughts
When your value stays hidden, your influence shrinks. When you name it, even in quiet moments, your presence expands.
Lead with Story: Why It Matters
We remember stories, not summaries. And we follow leaders who can name where they've been and what they've learned.
Do Now
Choose a moment you've worked with today:
A Bold Move you made
— even while uncertain
A Value Pitch you crafted
— to name your contribution
A Strength you reclaimed
— after ACED beliefs
You'll tell that story: simply, clearly, and with presence.
Wrap Up
What story do you want to carry forward and not just leave behind?
Final Thoughts
Your voice gets stronger every time your story gains shape. Start small. Tell one story with clarity and truth and let that become your leadership signal.
SOAR: Strategy in Action
This model highlights how you responded to a challenge with clarity, decisiveness, and outcome-orientation.
Use it when you want to show how you think, not just what you did.
Tell your story in 4 parts:
Situation
What was happening?
Obstacle
What was getting in the way?
Action
What did you do?
Result
What changed?
Do Now
Use SOAR to turn one of today’s moments into a strategy story:
  • A Bold Move you made under pressure
  • A moment from your Value Pitch
  • A strength you reclaimed through ACED
  • A situation where you shifted action not just thought
SOAR Example – "Cutting Through the Noise"
Situation
Our team was stuck on a client proposal. Feedback loops kept delaying finalisation.
Obstacle
Everyone was overthinking and avoiding ownership.
Action
I called a 20-minute clarity sprint and reframed the task as "What needs to be said clearly, not perfectly?"
Result
We delivered that afternoon. The client signed within 24 hours.
Wrap Up
Which moment from today reveals how you lead under pressure, and what shifted because of you?
Final Thoughts
SOAR helps others see what you see. Not just your result, but your contribution, your clarity, and your authorship.
Story Spine: Identity in Motion
This structure helps show an identity shift. The kind you may have uncovered in this Session so far.
1
Once upon a time...
2
Every day...
3
Until one day...
4
Because of that...
5
Until finally...
6
Ever since then...
Do Now
Use this to narrate how you’ve grown as a leader, especially if the shift wasn’t visible to others:
  • A Bold Move that changed your self-image
  • A Value Pitch that used to feel out of reach
  • A belief from ACED that no longer defines you
  • A strength that now moves differently in the room
Story Spine Example – "Learning to Speak Before I Felt Ready"
Once upon a time...
I avoided visibility, preferring to stay in the background.
Every day...
I worked quietly behind the scenes, perfecting slides instead of speaking up.
Until one day...
I realised that strategy was being shaped by those who spoke, not just those who thought.
Because of that...
I started contributing earlier, even if I felt only 80% ready with my thoughts.
Until finally...
I was brought into meetings before the deck even existed.
Ever since then...
I've led with questions, not just answers, and my voice shapes the brief from the start.
Wrap Up
Which identity shift are you ready to speak into a room, even if it still feels new?
Final Thoughts
This isn't just about a story you tell. It's about who you've already become and the story you now choose to lead from.
Heroine's Journey: Reclaiming Power
Use this when your growth came through tension, loss, or recalibration — not just recognition. This story honours what you survived, shifted, and carried forward.
Pressure to Conform
What were you trying to be or prove?
Descent
What cost or tension did you face?
Initiation
What did you realise?
Transformation
What did you change in yourself?
Reintegration
How do you now lead differently?
Do Now
Draw on any of today’s deeper insights:
  • A belief from ACED that you dismantled
  • A moment of burnout, invisibility, or conformity
  • A Bold Move that was a break from pattern
  • A Strength you had to retrieve not just display
Heroine's Journey: Reclaiming Power Example – "From Overwork to Signal Strength"
Pressure to Conform
I thought the only way to lead was to say yes to everything and prove I could carry it all.
Descent
I was praised constantly until I burned out and started resenting every meeting I was in.
Initiation
I saw that over-functioning was robbing me of clarity. I wasn't being strategic, just busy.
Transformation
I started saying no. I named where my energy made the biggest impact and designed my week around that.
Reintegration
Now I'm the person who brings focus, and my team thanks me for the permission to do the same.
Wrap Up
What truth did this journey give you and where do you want to speak from now?
Final Thoughts
This is the story of becoming your own leader not the one the system asked for. It's what happens when you stop outsourcing your value.
Story Application Grid
We remember stories, not summaries. Let's make your shift speak in the places that matter.
Do Now
Choose one of the stories you just created (SOAR, Story Spine, or Heroine's Journey).
Now map where and how you could use it to strengthen your leadership presence, clarity, or self-advocacy.
Wrap Up
Where will your story go next , and what will it shift for others when you share it?
Final Thoughts
Your story isn't just a reflection it's a signal. When you tell it with ownership, you give others a new lens for your value, your leadership, and your presence.
Final Wrap-Up & Reflection
You didn't 'get' confidence today, you remembered it. You shifted the story. Now, that shift moves with you.
Do Now
Choose 1–2 of the below and answer in writing or aloud:
What belief or behaviour are you leaving behind today?
What part of your story surprised you?
What sentence will you speak aloud this week with more clarity or courage?
Wrap Up
What would your story say about today's turning point?
Final Thought
The shift isn't just in your words. It's in your choices. And it begins again — in the next moment you decide to show up from strength instead of doubt.
Next step?
Choose what feels right for where you are:
Have a grounded, no-pressure conversation about what you are working through
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